R.I.P Hostess

Yes, Dr. Venkman, what about the Twinkie indeed.

The Twinkie, as well as ho ho’s, snowballs, and ding-dongs are unfortunately coming to an end. Well, kinda. Hostess retail stores will remain open in order to sell the remaining baked goods. So get them while you can, because all that will be left are the cheap knockoff frosting filled impostors that just don’t contain the magic that only Hostess can provide.

November 16, 2012, was in fact a sad day as Hostess Inc. filed a motion for bankruptcy and has declared that they are selling all of their assets.

How did this happen? The board of directors ordered a “wind down” of hostess brands to maximize the value of the estate after one of the companies biggest unions, the BCTGM, initiated mega strike across the states that halted production of these tasty little cakes which resulted in failure to deliver the product to multiple facilities. With a few attempted negotiations and offers, Hostess was found to be unprofitable by the union and has stepped down.

The wind down means the closure of 33 bakeries, 565 distribution centers, approximately 5,500 delivery routes and 570 bakery outlet stores throughout the United States.- Yuck.

So now, Hostess Brands will sell off its popular brands, including Hostess, Drakes, and Dolly Madison, which make iconic cake products such as Twinkies, CupCakes, Ding Dongs, Ho Ho’s, Sno Balls, and Donettes. Bread brands to be sold include Wonder, Nature’s Pride , Merita, Home Pride, Butternut, and Beefsteak, among others.

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Editor’s Note: Even though there may be some supply issues for a while, thanks to Capitalism, some other company will purchase America’s favorite stuff-your-face-and-get-fat brands and recipes. The bankruptcy issues surrounding Hostess for years were not issues based on the recipes. When the factories in Mexico (or Vietnam) are built to make Twinkies, they’ll be using the same strategy: make as many of these delicious treats as possible in preparation for the inevitable zombie apocalypse.-DN

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